Aren’t “excellence” and “winning” synonymous — especially in sports? That argument can certainly be made. But when it comes to youth sports, there is a little more nuance involved.
I was warned about the intensity surrounding youth sports by friends and family, as I was starting a family of my own. I thought maybe it would start in the teenage years — not with 7-, 8-, 9- and 10-year-olds. I have to say it’s caught me off guard — and I made my living as a Navy SEAL and FBI special agent by not getting caught off guard.
I believe winning and learning how to win is important for youngsters. But I also understand the need for development before winning becomes a priority — yes, the development of athletic skills, but also the development of the organization’s culture. It is a fine line and a difficult issue to tackle, especially when it comes to kids. More so when it comes to your kid.
I know what excellence looks like in an organization. The Navy SEALs are widely considered the most elite fighting force in the world. A culture of excellence has been established over the years, since D-Day in World War II, that permeates every part of the institution to this day.
Everything is done for the greater good of the entire unit, not just a select few. The standards are high and the pursuit to achieve and maintain those standards is relentless. The SEAL teams are not for everyone, as the 70% attrition rate at BUD/S, the six-month-long Navy SEAL training course, attests to.
But every SEAL gets the opportunity to achieve excellence regardless of their background or connections.
Not every SEAL is the best at everything they do. But their effort is the best. Their humility and character are the best. Every Navy SEAL’s effort, humility and character are held to this high standard.
When I went through BUD/S training, we started with 200 people and were down to 10 after five weeks of the six-month training. The thing I remember most about that training was what an instructor said about who makes it and who doesn’t: “I’ll take the man who sinks to the bottom of the pool because he can’t swim but tries again a thousand times over the man who is an Olympic-level swimmer that does not recognize the character of the man who keeps sinking to the bottom.”
Anyone can be taught the skills to be a SEAL — shooting, jumping, diving, etc. But not everyone can be taught the character that is needed to be a SEAL. That was the instructor’s point, that he would take character over skill any day because it’s easier to teach the skill than the character.
In the SEAL Teams, this is the standard for the entire organization because that is what creates true excellence. Excellence that sustains you during the hard times and propels you during the good times. Excellence that transfers from one part of the organization to the other when the inevitable turnover of people and resources occurs.
Whether you’re an active platoon member preparing for war or you’re taking your turn at an administrative posting in between platoons, the same principles of character, effort, and respect are expected of everyone and given to everyone.
This is the excellence I’m referring to. This type of excellence creates winning over the long term for everyone who joins the organization. To have this type of sustained outperformance there must be open, honest and consistent communication across the board.
Anyone can have lofty goals, set high standards and be relentless in their pursuit of them. But without those goals and standards being executed and communicated effectively, excellence will not be achieved and winning will be fleeting.
I recently witnessed this organizational excellence in youth sports right here in our valley. I watched the excellence of the entire organization take priority over one small group.
The “B” squad had a game, and many kids (really parents) were late. The rule had been established, “If you are late you sit for the first five minutes of the game.” The team started the game with five skaters and no goalie. They lost 8-7 and I heard one of the parents after the game tell their child, “I’m sorry we were late. It was my fault, and it won’t happen again.”
Organizational excellence! Everything is done for the greater good of the organization.
The next week, two players from the “A” team were late. They sat for the first five minutes of the game. The team lost 4-3. But the parents of those kids cheered mightily for the rest of the team during the five minutes their children were on the bench. They were not expecting special treatment just because their kids were the leading scorers. Again — organizational excellence.
As parents, we have all seen firsthand the good and bad of youth sports and have had to make decisions along the way that are best for our children. Our choices aren’t necessarily right or wrong; they’re just ours.
Simply some food for thought as we decide what we think is best for our children while navigating the crazy world of youth sports. Good luck!
Errol Doebler is a former Navy SEAL platoon commander, FBI terrorism investigator, and founder of his leadership consulting company, Ice Cold Leader. He can be contacted at Hello@Icecoldleader.com.
Check out Errol’s new book, Ice Cold Leader: Leading From the Inside Out available now!
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